First Aid for Dodo Bite Wound

In case you run into a Raphus cucullatus, or dodo, for short,
or, a Raphus cucullatus, or dodo, runs into you,
and it bites you with its believed-to-be sharp beak on your forearm
(for our evidentiary convenience), and wounds you, here's what you should do:

1. Seek professional medical treatment immediately; otherwise
2. Cleanse your wound thoroughly with soap and water;
3. Use a disinfectant, rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide;
4. Apply antibiotic like neomyacin or bacitracin, and
5. Cover the wound and keep it clean.

Pray that it heals fast but leaves a scar, and (if you haven't yet) 

take a selfie showing bitten forearm, and post photo(s) 

on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...Better yet, hunt down that dodo 

and display it -- dead or alive! Let the whole world know 

about your bloody encounter with what has long been thought

of as extinct since 1662: "Wtf, I got bitten by a dodo! #dodo 

#raphuscucullatus #lazarusspecies #secondcoming"

("Oxford Dodo display" by BazzaDaRambler - Oxford University Museum of Natural History ... dodo - dead apparently.Uploaded by FunkMonk.)

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