Thursday, June 4, 2015

First Aid for Dodo Bite Wound

In case you run into a Raphus cucullatus, or dodo, for short,
or, a Raphus cucullatus, or dodo, runs into you,
and it bites you with its believed-to-be sharp beak on your forearm
(for our evidentiary convenience), and wounds you, here's what you should do:

  1. Seek professional medical treatment immediately; otherwise
  2. Cleanse your wound thoroughly with soap and water;
  3. Use a disinfectant, rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide;
  4. Apply antibiotic like neomyacin or bacitracin, and
  5. Cover the wound and keep it clean.
Pray that it heals fast but leaves a scar, and (if you haven't yet) 
take a selfie showing bitten forearm, and post photo(s) 
on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...Better yet, hunt down that dodo 
and display it -- dead or alive! Let the whole world know 
about your bloody encounter with what has long been thought
of as extinct since 1662: "Wtf, I got bitten by a dodo! #dodo 
#raphuscucullatus #lazarusspecies #secondcoming"

("Oxford Dodo display" by BazzaDaRambler - Oxford University Museum of Natural History ... dodo - dead apparently.Uploaded by FunkMonk.)

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1 comment:

  1. Fight Staphy and go full force against wound infection by using Fusidic acid / Fusidate sodium (Fucidin®). It is a powerful antibacterial that is clinically proven, fast acting, and deep penetrating that heals in approximately seven days.
    However, if symptoms persist, it would be best to visit your doctor. For more info: