Friday, July 25, 2014

Dear Miss or Mister Toby Born Tomorrow, a letter to yet-to-be-born Filipinos

"MANILA, Philippines–By the reckoning of a population expert, the Philippine population will hit 100 million at 12:06 a.m. or thereabouts on Sunday." - 100 millionth Filipino due early Sunday, Philippine Daily Inquirer, July 25, 2014

Dear Miss or Mister Toby Born Tomorrow: 

Sorry. But, be rest assured that things are going to get better in this cunt'ry you'll be born into (and please don't consider your coming-out event tomorrow as your first parental or divine punishment, as it is still coming on Monday in the form of an "address"). I guarantee you that there are still leaders in this cunt'ry, not necessarily residing in Malacañang, who will succeed -- along with the rest of the Filipino people -- in making this cunt'ry a much better place (before or when you end up migrating somewhere else). And right now, or when you start feeling certain noble sentiments, be proud to be Filipino -- as you have no other choice yet, legally. And may you be born a "normal" person, whatever that means. Especially as someone out there is currently giving "abnoy" a bad name -- the emphasis on so-called political correctness during these times notwithstanding. And most likely "it" will get worse on Monday.

So, cheer up after your instinctive and initial "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!" immediately upon extraction from the comfort womb. Who knows, you might end up in Malacañang as the first president of the Philippine Revolutionary Workers Government! And if and when that time arrives, please remember me as (most probably) the very first to write you a letter. And yes, please consider all of this as my decades-early application as your press secretary. (And please don't consider I'd work on a voluntary basis. Otherwise, F!@# you!)

May you have a blessed life ahead, Toby.

Sincerely yours,

Always Proud to be Pinoy

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